A Murder of Crows

It’s been a while since the last post – I usually blog more than this. But to be honest, I’m trying to drum up some enthusiasm. I’ve got a cold, which doesn’t help, but there’s also a murder of doubt crows sitting on just about every available flat surface in my office. Some days it’s just not even worth going in there.

I think the hardest thing about this particular point in time is going ahead when there is no glimmer on the horizon, not even a tiny spark. You hear people’s miraculous stories about how, when they’d decided to give up writing for good, something would magically happen – a lost sub becomes found or a ms they’d forgotten they’d sent gets the nod – but you know, those things only happen to the lucky few. It’s when there isn’t the prospect of even the most minor of encouragement that it gets very, very tough.

My last blog post was pretty positive. But positivity is one of those wonderful things that seem to come and go – at this point, it’s mostly go. You can’t stay positive all the time. It requires a conscious effort and to be honest, it’s bloody tiring.

It’s probably not the best day for a blog post actually. Because if you’re looking for some brave examples of how to pick yourself up after getting the big KO writing-wise, don’t look at me. I still haven’t managed to regain consciousness let alone pick myself up.

I guess the thing with being on the ground is that you can’t fall any further.

Anyone got a scarecrow I can borrow?

18 thoughts on “A Murder of Crows”

  1. Hugs, Jackie. You’re allowed to feel bad after a disappointment. Be gentle with yourself, take all the time you need to sort yourself and form a plan of action. I’m sure your miracle will happen.

    Much love.

    XX
    PS Hope you get rid of that cold soon, too.

  3. Suzanne – thank you! An action plan IS what I need. And chocolate. And lots of medicinal scotch. Hugs help too. 🙂

    Nas – hey there! I need that corner to come around a little faster. Or maybe I just need to walk faster myself. 🙂

  6. Jax, maybe we better take a mental vacation where there’s no need for crows? Maybe that’d spark something-if not on the horizon, something within us to proceed …. What d’ya say?

    I’m sitting right next to a crow as we speak, and waving to it as well 😉 I can see it smiling at me :p

  9. Ju – here’s a shotgun for you so you can shoot it. 🙂 Yeah, I had a vacation and it was nice. But I think I’d better get up the gumption to move forward somehow, otherwise I’ll still be here sitting on my butt. 🙂

    Lacey – Lol re the greats! Do you think the more you suffer, the greater you’ll be? I hope so!

    Julia – I know. I’ve actually been reading though and it’s been fantastic. Maybe tomorrow I’ll come hang out.

  10. Jackie, just when you least expect it a tiny seed of a story will plant itself in your mind and start to grow. Before you know it, it will have shoots, roots, leaves and be reaching for the sky. So right now, forget about it, get out and about, and some crazy in a cafe, some woman rushing across a road, or some mum struggling with her kids will spark a little shoot somewhere – just when you think you’re about to give up! xx

  11. Aww massive hugs Jackie! But as Suzanne says you’re allowed to feel down after getting such a big knockback. “R’s” suck BIG time – it’s just that some suck bigger than others! Caroline x

  12. Lots of hugs Jackie. Count me in on the scarecrow, doubt crow shooting posse.

    You can write and you do have a voice. Don’t let any doubt crow tell you anything different!

    Nina x

  13. Scarlet – I guess I should reveal I am writing and I do have ideas still springing around in the mess I call my brain. Just hard to scrabble around to find the confidence to write them. Sigh.

    Caroline – they do suck. Big time. Thanks for the hugs though! 🙂

    Nina – thanks. You’re a complete star. Stupid crows!

  14. Jackie,

    I LOVE Ray Lamontagne.

    Now, I know you’re sitting there wondering, WTF is with Aideen today? And what has Ray got to do with anything? Well, apart from the fact that every one of his songs is a story in itself, or that his voice is just about the most soothing/moving thing ever, the man is a genius when it comes to emotions. When I read this blog today a line from one of his songs jumped out at me so…quickly (strongly?)that it scared the bejaysus out of me.

    ‘Just becuase you knock a man down,
    Don’t mean that you got him beat’.

    You may be that ‘man’ right now, down and out and not feeling the writing love, but by God, you are NOT beaten yet Jackie. You have too much of the good stuff inside to give up. Take a rest, take a break, take care. But most importantly, take heart. Know that we all go through exactly what you’re experiencing now, the only difference being that you are brave enough to come here and share.

    I’d take my hat off to you if I wore one but I don’t so instead I’m sending you hugs and lucky leprechauns.

    Aideen XXXXXXXX

  15. Oh Jackie. I have sooo been there.

    You wouldn’t be human not to feel disappointed. I’ve been having similar feelings recently. I think it goes with the territory. But be assured, you are not alone and hopefully the blogging is cathartic and you’ll soon pick yourself up.

    Sometimes you have to hit the bottom to come back up.
    I’m really pleased to have found your blog. Perhaps we can help each other to keep going.

    In the meantime, be kind to yourself.

    warm wishes
    Debbie
    x

  16. Aideen – love ya, m’dear! Leprechauns much appreciated as is Ray Lamontagne. Trying not to feel beaten. Think I need a rousing Chumbawumba chorus too… “I get knocked down, but I get up again” etc. 🙂

    Debbie – hey, thanks for visiting my moany blog. 🙂 But yes, blogging IS cathartic and I DO have to get to the bottom first. Just wish I didn’t have to do it so often. 🙂

  17. yep, pin my one up!
    Keep going Jackie, you can do it! Even if only for your own enjoyment – remember, you do enjoy writing, you do!

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