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Michelle – lol! I do that with write/right too. 🙂 Thank you muchly for your lovely comment! Yeah, I have let the rejections suck away my joy. And my confidence. I do need to get it back somehow. But I think I will!

Lacey – you need your own show, truly, you really do. And dammit, you made me smile. And I do NOT want to do that. 🙂

Anne – We’re all in the same boat huh? And I know that when publication comes round, we’ll perhaps be in a different boat, but still the same sea. I don’t think those doubts etc will ever go away in other words, but having friends to share them with sure makes it easier. 🙂

Jen – what a lovely comment!! Thank you so much. Yeah, I haven’t been back to Subcare actually because…well, I couldn’t bear to. I only wanted to make the announcement here because I just can’t face saying it again. It’s too raw. I know there’s heaps of lovely people there who are rooting for me but I hate disappointing people and it feels like I would be. Plus it really does feel like ‘yeah, the truth is out, Jackie can’t write after all’. Sigh.
Anyway, I know totally what you mean about the difference with knowing about conflict but getting it on the page. I do envy people who manage to do so without any effort. I overthink ALL the time too. And that has not helped.
But definitely I am going to take a few eggs out of the HMB basket and try somewhere else. What I need to do first though is just try and write a story with a good simple conflict, and not feel like I am trying to get all the ‘craft’ rules right. I suspect it’ll come out more natural if that happens. At least, that’s the idea.
Anyway, thanks for your lovely words about my blog. So glad it helps people get through the rough days. Being honest about the tough times isn’t for everyone and might not be doing me any favours, but if it helps others then I’m okay with that. 🙂

I reckon there are lots of us who feel we still don’t get conflict. The answer seems to be to study it intensely and make yourself an expert on it. But where to start?

We could do with a really intense on-line writing course on conflict run by a romance author.

And I have to comment on your issues with conflict because I can so relate to them. I did not come late to romance (I’ve read series romance since I was twelve and that’s *gulp* over thirty years ago.) So, yes, I know the tropes very well. I understand what kinds of wounds and conflict and tortured pasts work well. I’ve read them a zillion times–some of them brilliantly executed, some not. I’ve also read a zillion items on the topic and taken several workshops. I’m a fairly smart person with advanced degrees, too. LOL. But understanding the concept and getting it down on the page are two very different things. I think for some people (especially people who tend to overthink like me), harnassing the creative process and tethering it to a formula is very difficult. And it’s especially frustrating when you see other folks do it seemingly more quickly/easily–folks who might not have the same ability to create cool characters, or who might not be able to write a sentence that’s as dreamy as yours are. And then there’s the stuff that’s out of our control–like coming up with the right idea at the right time and landing it on the right person’s desk. And the teeth-grinding waits.

After getting a few R’s I knew I had to take control of my frustration. I decided to try other kinds of writing where the formula wasn’t as important. I decided to move some of my eggs out of the HMB basket. I’m still holding on to my dream and likely always will, but with other outlets I can occasionally smash an egg with gleeful freedom and be okay with it. Everyone has their own path, but sometimes you need to be able to skip along quite merrily instead of being so damn careful, you know? So I’m dearly hoping you can find a way to be “different” and be happy and feel successful. I’ve read some of your stuff and I know this is possible. And you’ve certainly been a huge success at blogging–a blog that’s helped many folks get through some tough days. So grateful to you for that.

Hope your hiatus is perspective-granting and peace-giving. And if those things didn’t happen I hope there was some good vodka. *big grin*

All the best to you,

Jen (JenSatt)

Enjoy your break.

I know, I know, how is it that I don’t have my own comedy show? 😉

I’m so glad you decided to keep on blogging. We’ll be waiting for you when you get back!