BUT

I have a post I’ve been meaning to write. And it’s about the problem of writing a difficult heroine. I’ve written about this before a few times but I wanted to write it again because, well, I think it bears repeating.

We’re tough on heroines as readers. They either have to be like us or better than us and yet not so perfect as to be sickening. We forgive things in a hero that we wouldn’t forgive in a heroine because, well, he’s the hero. Perhaps it’s because we expect more of women than we do of men, I don’t know, but a hero can be an a-hole and that’s mostly okay. But a heroine can’t get away with the same thing. If a hero is a billionaire because he loves money, he’s adorably selfish. If a heroine loves money she’d be just selfish and grasping (unless she has a poor ailing mother/sister/father/brother/granny/next door neighbour’s ancient aunt Flo to support). A hero who sleeps around is a playboy. A heroine who sleeps around a slut.

Double standards my friends. We don’t like ’em but they’re there.

It makes it tough for a writer. Do you write a heroine whose flaws are miniscule in order to please editors/readers? Or do you write to please yourself and the story you want to tell?

People in real life are complicated – too complicated for fiction often and so writers have to simplify, especially in genre fiction. But does that mean you have to write only aspirational people leading aspirational kind of lives as a writer? If you’re writing romance then you DO have to make at least some part of your characters identifiable – heroes at their core have to be heroic and not the creepy pedo from down the road for example. But I know I don’t want to write about of bunch of Mary Sues. I never have. I think that’s partly why it took me a while to get the hang of writing romance and why I got a lot of Rs from that ‘orange tree’ I wrote about in my second to last post.

Because I don’t want to write perfect people – especially not perfect women. I want to write about women who have real issues, who make mistakes and bad decisions, who are mean to the hero. Who screw up. Who are selfish. Who are scared to trust. Who are vulnerable. Who have sh*t to learn and sh*t they have to get together before they get their HEA. Who are difficult to write and get right.

And I’ll continue to write heroines like that. Because ultimately, I’m not writing for my editors or for every reader. I can’t, not if I want the books I write to be Jackie Ashenden books. In order to do that, I have to write for myself. I have to write what I enjoy writing. And I like writing about effed up people.

On the upside,  I also don’t write the same character over and over again so for those of you frustrated by Anna from Falling for Finn, you might find Izzy from Black Knight, White Queen easier to connect with. She’s definitely not perfect but she’s gutsy and open and likes a game of strip chess now and then.   (BTW, that was a completely transparent promo attempt if you hadn’t noticed). And I’m thinking of giving away a copy of the book to newsletter peoples so if you’d like a chance to win it, sign up! (down the bottom of the page, see? SEE?)

So what are other people’s thoughts on heroines?

Now, I have to say right up and here and now that I hate those heroines. I don’t want to read about perfect, self-sacrificing people. I want to read about flawed, imperfect individuals who go on a journey to either overcome those flaws or to learn to accept that they’re actually not flaws at all. And yet right now, in my WIP, I have a heroine who wants to take control of her father’s money. She wants to control her father’s money because he controlled her as a child and she wants payback. For herself. And yet I’m trying to make this motivation less mercenary and cold by including her feelings about protecting her mother in there, purely because I’m wondering if a reader will find her too mercenary. Too unsympathetic. Too selfish. And this annoys me because it’s predictable. Always the heroine has to have some unselfish motivation because no one likes a cold-hearted woman. It’s always her mother or her brother or sister or her poor widowed auntie.

Why can’t she want to have something for herself? Why can’t she be as cold and as ruthless as the hero? Especially if she’s motivated enough?

We’re hard on our heroines I think. They’re supposed to be the placeholder for ourselves and so they can’t be seen as selfish or anything too extreme or else they risk alienating us.

Me, I’m a forgiving reader. But I hate stupidity in heroines and doormattery and too much self-sacrifice. I also can’t stand kick-assedness for the sake of it. But I can handle a heroine being selfish. I can handle a heroine who takes the diamonds the hero wants to give her and also the hot sex because she wants it and she likes it. None of this ‘oh no, I can’t. It would demean me!’ or ‘I must take the diamonds to pay for healthcare for my poor sick granny and bear the sex because I said I would’ crap.

What about you? What turns you off in a heroine? What can’t you forgive? And is liking her instantly really that important?

What you say? Jackie Ashenden actually writing? Unheard of!

Yeah, yeah, I’m being sarcastic. I never really stop writing to it’s no surprise. But lately I have been turning off the net to concentrate wholly on what I’m doing. And good thing too because my poor Chessman needs the attention. His issues are turning out to be waaaay bigger than I thought. He’s a very closed off guy, very cerebral and, naturally enough, there is a reason he’s like this. Yes, that’s right, ONE reason. Not fifty million in the way I usually always overcomplicate stuff, just one. And that’s where the whole keep it simple, dig deep stuff comes into it. Taking that ONE reason and exploring it, not chucking in a whole lot of other stuff like I did, say, with the heroine…

Women. Honestly, why do I have such problems with women?? Maybe it’s because I’m a complicated girl myself, I dunno, but some heroines just give me gip. I think it’s due to the fact that I’ve focussed on one character trait for this particular heroine and turned it into conflict, whereas it just should have stayed as a character trait. Does that make sense. Anyway, thanks to awesome CPs, I think I’ve ironed out that little kink. Like the hero, I’ve taken ONE thing she does (not one aspect of who she is) and focussed on that as conflict instead. Which may be a breakthrough for me. Anyway, Comic Book girl now lives! Woohoo!

So, anyone else mistake a character trait for conflict or is it just me???

Easiest thing in the world. Not.

So, the problem of my heroine was this – I kind of knew bits of her, but there was an element that I was missing that would have solidified her on the page and in my head. Do you know what I mean? It’s hard to describe. But the essence was that I realised that all she was doing was reacting to the hero. He’d do something, she’d react. And the problem with that is she wasn’t actually taking charge of the plot. It was all being driven by him. Why by him? It’s not just because he’s an alpha. It’s because I knew him. I know what he’d do in a situation, I know his conflict, I know his feelings about things. And so because I didn’t really know her, he was taking over, the dear, sweet, darling man (yeah, baby, it’s all about the hero).

Now, normally when this happens, I push through and finish the thing and then go back and fix the problem, but this time I figured I really had to stop and do something about my heroine. My black moment wasn’t going to work, let alone the HEA, if I didn’t know who the hell she was. So I had to figure her out which – as you all know – is not easy.

After much hair pulling, I think the reason why I couldn’t get a handle on her is that my initial idea of her was actually too difficult pull off. She was a drifter, someone without any idea of what she wanted to do. She was goalless. The problem with a heroine like that is if she doesn’t know what she’s doing with her life or what she wants, then neither does the reader. And that’s not particularly aspirational or sympathetic. It also plays merry hell with the pace. I’m not saying you can’t have a character like this, it’s just hard work. And God knows, getting this stuff right is hard enough without giving yourself a difficult character to pull off. Keep it simple stupid.

So, figuring out characters… For me, I have write the whole first draft before I know them. Character interviews, all that kind of stuff doesn’t work. It’s not until I’m writing that I figure it out. Oh and discussing ideas with the CPs helps a treat too. And all it’ll take for me is one suggestion and then suddenly it’ll come right (like it did in this instance).

What about you guys? How do you figure out yours? Do you have to write the whole thing first and get to know them as you go along? Or do you know everything before you write?

Oh and my heroine? Yep, figured her out finally. She’s a passionate artist who draws graphic novels. And no, they are NOT cartoons…

Anyway, I have been thinking more about my non-sassy heroine and still debating about whether her non-sassiness is a good thing. She really has issues with herself and not much confidence, despite the fact that she is rich and successful. But I’m getting cold feet about her. Is she Modern Heat enough? Is she sympathetic? Or is she too unconfident for a reader to identify with? I keep wanting to pull back on her, which I hate doing because then I slip into having my characters act in ways they actually wouldn’t – at least not without a personality change. It’s a problem. I mean, the eds liked her well enough last year, even though they rejected it, but lots can change in a year. Will they still like her now?

It doens’t help that I am also working on her polar opposite, my eco-warrior heroine. She has sass enough for both of them and I have to say, her terrier-like inability to let things go is proving to be a problem for my conflict. I hope it’s strong enough to explain her actions. Then again, that could be due to my hero and his ability to get under her skin – they’ve got a such a strong love/hate dynamic going on that it’s not bringing out the best in either of them!

Anyone else ever have doubts about their characters personalities? Did you give them their head? Or did you pull back on them?

This, friends, is my conundrum. Having left the Frenchman to stew quietly in his own juices (don’t go there) for a wee while, the time has come to revisit my nearly-there manuscript. The manuscript that might have been a winner if its author hadn’t fell at the last hurdle and botched the revisions. Sigh. Anyway, the heroine in this manuscript is non-sassy. She is a stammerer. A stutterer. She’s nervous, ungainly and finds herself completely out of her depth with the hero. So is she a Modern Heat heroine? Well, thing is, the eds liked her the first time round. They thought she was lovely. Which means the answer I’m hoping for is yes. Yes she is!

The problem with the ms the first time round was lack of believable conflict. This time round – now I have a much better idea about what I’m doing – I think I’ve got her conflict right. But she’s still nervous and stammery. Still doesn’t know what to say or what to do when she meets the hero. However the one thing she has got, that the hero needs, is honesty. She’s unflinchingly, unfailingly honest. About herself and she certainly pulls no punches when it comes to being honest with him. Good thing too because the hero has been lying to himself for a long time and needs her honesty in order realise it.

In many ways, she is my favourite heroine. I think probably because she’s the first one I actually connected with while I was writing it. She was so nervous, I really felt for her. And yet she wasn’t scared to tell him what a coward he was being later on so she wasn’t a doormat by any stretch. She was different – there are lots of sassys out there but not so many stammeries!

Anyway, I’m tossing up between my non-sassy software developer or my extremely sassy protester. Usually what I do is choose the one with the closest love scene – yes, I’m shallow like that. In this instance, since both love scenes happen in the first few chapters (at least, that’s my plot. Could change I guess) I’m spoilt for choice!

Has anyone else written a heroine who is a bit different? If so, how did you find it? Was it hard?

Okay, so, my hero wants control in his relationships. He wants this because control quells the fear he has of being abandoned. So in order to really up the tension in this story, I need to give the heroine something that will really conflict with his need for control. And I’m going for independence here. So my heroine believes that independence or self reliance in her relationships is the key to fighting her fear of having love used to control her (backstory alert!). Having love used to control her made her feel she wasn’t important and that her feelings didn’t matter so she definitely wants to avoid this. Yay. Now I have two completely opposite motivations and secret fears here which is great because that’s how I’ll get the greatest tension in the story.

Of course,my problem now is that if the heroine doesn’t want to be controlled, why would she fall for a hero who wants to control things? So I’ll have to give the hero some qualities that she will admire. These qualities will probably be related to her backstory. Perhaps in her past men have been unreliable and let her down, in which case she will admire trustworthyness and reliability. So I’ll make him reliable and trustworthy. Since she values these attributes, she’ll endeavour to make sure she herself is trustworthy too – thereby making her more attractive to the hero because, as you remember, if he thinks she’s trustworthy, she’ll be less likely to abandon him.

Right, so I have some conflict and motivation for the heroine. I’ve got some things for her to admire in the hero. So now I can build her backstory. If she wants independence then perhaps she runs her own company, likes to do things herself. Perhaps she’s also practical and down to earth, good traits when it comes to pricking the arrogance-bubble the hero surrounds himself in. She will also need a spine of steel in order to stand up to the hero’s demands. But that’s okay because as her motivation is independence, that’s totally in keeping with her character – she’s not going to let anyone control her so she will fight him as and when required…
Hey, think I’m getting there. Not a stereotype in sight. And now I’ve got her most basic conflict straight, she’ll act like she’s supposed to and I won’t have to give her extreme character traits to make her do what I want!

At least that’s the plan.

Right, on with the award. I’ve been nominated for a Happy Cupcake Award! Thanks to Maya, Lacey, and Kerrin! This requires me to list 10 things that make me happy. So here they are, in no particular order:

1. Dr Jax.
2. My girls.
3. Kohu Road Dark Chocolate icecream.
4. Writing.
5. My latest hero.
6. A nice vodka martini.
7. All my lovely blog friends (shameless flattery, yes, I know).
8. A good book.
9. My iPhone.
10. Great Uncle Visa.

Now I should nominate 10 bloggers who also make me happy but since all of you already have been nominated and you all make me happy, I shall extend the award to anyone who missed out! Enjoy the cupcakes everyone!

Oh and how is everyone else’s heroines getting on? Ready to shoot them yet??

Yup, you guessed it, heroine problems. I had changed her conflict so many times it was just one big mess and I couldn’t think my way out of it. It’s at times like this when I need a cool head to talk me through it and my husband is just amazing with stuff like that. Ten minutes later, a strong martini in hand, I was finally getting to the root of my problem – at least according to Dr Jax.

My heroines, he said, are too perfect. They have no dark sides. Which is very, very true. Not to mention the fact that they are defined by their conflict – like their personalities and their lives are totally formed by that one event. Argh!

However, it’s not all bad. After a long talk, aided by more martini and the wonderful ideas and suggestions from my fabulous (not to mention very patient) CPs, I have finally got an idea for a conflict for my heroine. It’s not exaggerated (I hope) and she has a personality outside of this
one conflict. I even managed to give her some weaknesses. Woohoo! She’s becoming a person! Now all I need to hope is that the editor agrees with this new idea.

So three cheers for Dr Jax. I told him that he could do a guest spot on my blog and everyone could write in with character questions that he could answer. He told me that finally he knew the real reason he went into psychiatry: to help me write my romance novels.

Anyone else had any breakthroughs this week? Or has it been full-on, kicking and screaming on the floor frustration?

Anyway, for those of you thinking the editor is gently holding my hand, no she is not. She called my heroine childish and immature, not to mention unnattractive. No words have been minced there. The really irritating thing is that the ed is right. I don’t think Cat is like that in the partial but the fact remains that her conflict is only half thought out. Which is my fault.

It wasn’t all bad. She liked some of the actions my characters took (which is solely down to Michelle S’s expert advice) and she really liked the central theme. Which is why, I’m assuming, she is giving me the chance to do this story but with fully-fledged characters.

So, I have sent her some more ideas about the backgrounds for both characters and she said she’d get back to me with tweaks. Haven’t heard yet but since then I’ve gone through yet another set of ideas for my heroine. I am now officially sick of her.

The problems I’m having though are mainly because of the way I write which is writing my way into my characters. They have a half thought of background when I start but I don’t know really what they’re all about until the end. And that is not working for me clearly. I need to know all about them from the first page. I need to forget about the external conflict that brings them together and start from a core of internal conflict, building the rest of the character around that. And I need to do that before I start writing because working backwards like this is very, very hard. It’s hard because I’m desperate to keep some of the things the editor liked but I’m not sure, given my heroine’s new background, whether she would still act in the same way. And if I’m not sure, then she probably wouldn’t, which means I’ll probably have to change those bits. Changing bits the editor liked is NOT easy but then again, acting unbelievably is one of my heroine’s main failings so therefore I have to change them. Argh!

Okay, I’m now officially, officially sick of my heroine and am going to take the day off her. Big hugs to all of you who got the dreaded R from the competition. Remember an R does not mean you or your writing sucks. It just wasn’t the right story.

Groan! I’ll be honest here, I did wonder when I was writing this story, whether her conflict was right. Halfway through the book I was going um…not sure about this…but I persevered hoping it would fix itself. But it didn’t. So Jackie’s number one rule is going to be: Go with your gut! If it’s not working for you then it’s not working full stop!

Right, so where to from here? Well, I’m going to go with fixing this one because in spite of evidence to the contrary, I do feel like I’m getting there with fully backgrounding my characters. Kate, for a start, is much more fully realised than Cat is. And that’s mainly due to me thinking long and hard about Kate before I started writing. Plus, I like this story.

What I should be doing is taking advice from all you people who do character sketches before writing. Either that or I do what I usually do which is to write my way into my characters, finish the ms, and then write the synopsis. Impatience is my besetting sin and does not help in my writing!

The one thing that does console me is that the editor did tell me that writing romance with psychologically compelling, believable characters is very, very difficult. Hear that everyone? This is HARD stuff we’re doing. We have to have strong conflict but it has to be light and flirty. It has to extend to 50k but you can’t have any external conflict. It has to be sympathetic but not too specific. It has to have the fantasy factor. These are not easy things to accomplish. In fact, I was having a moan to a good friend of mine who is very, very literary and she said, ‘Actually, what you’re writing is very difficult isn’t it?’ And I thought, no kidding! Category romance is a tough beast.

Anyway, the other thing that keeps me going is this: the ed told me that my writing was all there and that once I got the characterisation right, I’ll be away.

So, you see, I simply have to keep going.