I know, I know, I was supposed to do this months ago. But I only really managed it in one chapter and that was my contest chapter. The rest of my mss, I’ve been dicking around with but not getting anywhere, questioning every action my characters took, every reaction. I told myself I wasn’t going to worry about the little editorial voices in my head but you know what? No prizes for guessing…. Yeah, I’ve been listening to them.

The CPs have had to give me a slap round the head (Robyn and Maisey do an excellent good cop/bad cop routine) and since then, I’ve made a momentous decision. Ish.

I can write sassy and flirty, and I do it well. But sassy and flirty do not a story make. You need conflict and character and that’s where I am having problems. Because I’m holding myself back. I’m trying to keep the light and flirty, but also have the intensity and angst that I love as well and it’s not working for me. I keep injecting inappropriate tension and angst everywhere because that’s what I REALLY want to write.

So, I’m giving up the light and flirty. I’m going all out on the angst. The intensity. The strong alphas. But I’m keeping my heroines stroppy. I’m doing Presents/Modern conflict and hero with a Riva heroine. I have no idea whether it’ll work or not but already the Chessman – which Maisey had already told me was Presents – is benefitting. My hero (who was more Presents than Riva anyway, as I think Janet commented once) is no longer going to do stuff just to make him more sympathetic. If it’s not in his character, then he ain’t doing it. Like flirting. He doesn’t flirt. He doesn’t seduce. He has no light and flirty button. Neither does my heroine. She’s hot-headed and stroppy and straight up. So Jackie must stop trying to make her light and flirty too.

And the next time I find myself questioning every action, every reaction, I need to ask myself this question – am I holding back? And if so, why?

Anyone else guilty of holding back??

Such are the joys of the alpha male.

Anyway to give myself a bit of alpha practice, I’ve been redoing my Frenchman to suit Presents/Modern. Yes, it’s quite different to writing MH but to be honest, I’m quite enjoying releasing my inner emo. As you know, I LOVE teh angst. Bring on the drama, the torture, the sexy darkness! You can’t go too dark with MH – at least not as dark as I want – so letting it all hang out with a bit of Presents is actually quite liberating. Anyway, I always had a sneaking suspicion that the Frenchman erred on the Modern side of the Modern Heat line so it’s not been too much work to pull him completely over it. And I have to say, he’s happier as a Modern hero. His voice in my head wasn’t ever MH and so the rest of the ms is not all that MH is tone either. In fact I’m secretly thinking of sending the first chapter to SYTYCW, just to see what happens. Hehe.

So what’s everyone else doing? Neutered any bad boys lately?