So there I was, nursing my disappointments, holding on to them really tightly. And feeling tired and burned out and like it was all too hard. And I was doing really well, had my ‘giving up’ speech all prepared, the towel fully ready to be thrown in.
And then some wretched people decided to write me some lovely messages. Write some lovely supportive comments on this sorry excuse for a blog. Encouraging, horribly motivating messages. So imagine my surprise when I found myself deleting my ‘giving up speech’. Picking up my towel. And more than, that, sitting down at my useless computer (it is useless, believe me, I hate the damn thing) and finishing the stupid story I’ve been slaving over for weeks.
You’re all to blame. It’s completely your fault. I would have given up. Truly.
But I’m afraid you guys talked me out of it.
So if you’re sick of my moanings, my general carrying on about the vile hardships of being an unpublished writer searching for that lucky ten percent, my complaints about my characters, my tearings of hair and sackcloth and ashes when I get a rejection, then that’s too bad. You’ve got only yourselves to blame.
And when – if! – I ever get that magic Call, you can fully blame yourselves for that too. God knows I will. Because you guys are pretty much the only reason I’m still here.
Well, okay, perhaps not that only reason. 🙂 I quite like writing too. And that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to keep writing because I love it. Because, basically, no matter what I decide, even when I’m languishing on the couch vowing and declaring that I’ll Never Write Again, my brain decides to churn out another couple of story ideas. And if those couple of stories happen to turn up on editors desks then hey, nothing to do with me. I’m only writing because I like writing. Nothing to do with being published. Nothing at all. (okay, so it’s a nice idea but I fear the execution may be harder than it looks).
Anyway, that’s me. I’ll be writing though perhaps not subbing. Still unpublished. But still here.