Jackie Lays the Blame

So there I was, nursing my disappointments, holding on to them really tightly. And feeling tired and burned out and like it was all too hard. And I was doing really well, had my ‘giving up’ speech all prepared, the towel fully ready to be thrown in.

And then some wretched people decided to write me some lovely messages. Write some lovely supportive comments on this sorry excuse for a blog. Encouraging, horribly motivating messages. So imagine my surprise when I found myself deleting my ‘giving up speech’. Picking up my towel. And more than, that, sitting down at my useless computer (it is useless, believe me, I hate the damn thing) and finishing the stupid story I’ve been slaving over for weeks.

You’re all to blame. It’s completely your fault. I would have given up. Truly.
But I’m afraid you guys talked me out of it. 

So if you’re sick of my moanings, my general carrying on about the vile hardships of being an unpublished writer searching for that lucky ten percent, my complaints about my characters, my tearings of hair and sackcloth and ashes when I get a rejection, then that’s too bad. You’ve got only yourselves to blame.

And when – if! – I ever get that magic Call, you can fully blame yourselves for that too. God knows I will. Because you guys are pretty much the only reason I’m still here.

Well, okay, perhaps not that only reason. 🙂  I quite like writing too. And that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to keep writing because I love it. Because, basically, no matter what I decide, even when I’m languishing on the couch vowing and declaring that I’ll Never Write Again,  my brain decides to churn out another couple of story ideas. And if those couple of stories happen to turn up on editors desks then hey, nothing to do with me. I’m only writing because I like writing. Nothing to do with being published. Nothing at all. (okay, so it’s a nice idea but I fear the execution may be harder than it looks).

Anyway, that’s me. I’ll be writing though perhaps not subbing. Still unpublished. But still here.

21 thoughts on “Jackie Lays the Blame”

  1. YAYAY!! I’m more than happy to take some of the blame. I’m just over-the-MOON that you’re writing again and I KNOW it’s a case of WHEN not IF you get the call!

  2. Yay! Go Jackie, go! Glad to hear that you didn’t throw in the towel, merely washed it, dried it and put it back on the towel rail so to speak. Caroline xx

  3. Go Jackie! Go Jackie! Go Jackie!
    I’m dancing around in a cheerleader uniform for you and it’s not a pretty sight…
    You have to accept the blame for that!
    Glad your writing again Jackie. Your time will definitely come and I’ll be out there buying your book x

  4. Caroline – it’s a nice towel though. All fluffy and soft. 🙂

    Catherine – heh. I might keep the towel next time I have a tanty.

    Sri – thanks! Hope it lasts…

    Scarlet – LOL! Love the outfit. I think accepting my time may never come and writing anyway may be the key.

  5. Hi Jackie
    Glad you’re back but you make sure you’re taking it easy, no pressure on yourself and if you’re not enjoying it stand back!! Keep the towel nearby as a comfort blanket but make sure you hang onto it if you take it off the rail. Or use it to beat back the doubt crows. See – its a multi purpose towel.
    Lots of hugs (because you can never have enough)
    Nina xx

  6. Nina – thanks! Hugs are always needed and no, can never have enough. Yeah, good point re the pressure. I wrote this blog post and then suffered a major down. I’m such an all or nothing kind of girl. 🙂

  7. Meh. Commented as husband on accident.

    *cough cough* It might have had something to do with that obnoxious American who keeps calling you at all hours…

    No need to be down…your MS made me CRY last night!

  8. And here I was thinking that I was going to have to take that towel, spin it til it was nice and tight and then flick you with it mercilessly until you promised to keep writing.

    Thank God you saw the light before that happened or I think it would have taken our friendship to a whole new (inappropriate) level.

    Kick back and enjoy the new ‘tude – and maybe another chocolate martini

  9. Good for you! I totally agree with Aimee. Enjoy the writing, since the road to publication is long and hard and fraught with discouragements. Hold onto that joy with both hands.

  10. Maisey – Maybe. Re the crying, so glad. Pity I have no idea what to do with the ms.

    Elissa – you may yet have to flick me periodically. I guess that’s what a book-pimp does. 😉

    Aimee – will try.

    Julia – *grabs hold of joy* *strangles it* 😉

  11. I’ll take the blame, right on the shoulders, thank you! So the characters started talking to you a lot sooner than I’d predicted – what ELSE are you supposed to do but write their stories?
    Good luck with your current work/s, but do be sure to take a break over the summer. I think we all need one!
    Hugs and hope 🙂

  12. Sally – you rock, girl.

    Madeline – yeah, they did. Actually they never stopped talking to me. I just refused to listen for, like, a day. Stupid make-believe people!

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