My Chapter is Up

On Argh!! To all of you who posted about it, thanks so much for your great comments. It’s great to know you all liked it – and even if you didn’t, thanks for posting that you did. ๐Ÿ™‚

Unfortunately Kate and Alex did not get their happy ever after because M&B decided in the end that the story wasn’t strong enough – mainly because their conflict was pretty much based on what they did rather than who they were. The conflict was external rather than internal. I was asked to do some revisions on it, which I did (retro-fitting a manuscript with decent internal conflict is NOT recommended!) and they liked the revisions but said that the beginning kind of overshadowed the rest of the story. Luckily I had a partial of another story already with them and they liked that one better. Yay!

Anyway, feel free to ask any more questions about Chasing Kate and why they didn’t want it. I found the editorial comment they did on it hugely helpful and don’t mind passing any of that kind of stuff on.

12 thoughts on “My Chapter is Up”

  1. This is hugely helpful, Jackie.
    Thank you. I’d always thought in terms of conflict being conflict. (Will need to make sure mine has internal conflict when I do my re-write.)

    At the risk of being repetitive, your chapter was great. I very much enjoyed reading it.


  2. Oh, thanks Suzanne! Glad you did. Having editors like your writing is one thing, but having everyone else like it is quite another.

    I want to post a bit more about the conflict in my chapter and a few other things like archetypes so do have a read. And also ask me anything. Honestly the comment was gold dust.

    Thanks Stephanie. I hope my revisions come soon too – are you listening Richmond? ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. I can see what you are saying about the conflict being external … but I’ve read a fair few books lately where there only seems to be one sided conflicts. The woman can’t trust because of x,y,z but the H chases her down and eventually she gives in. It’s a very difficult thing to get right, it seems, so the conflict is truly there and not fabricated.

    I hope I make sense, it’s late here!

  4. Jo, that makes a lot of sense. Yes, I know what you mean about one-sided conflict. I’ve read a few like that. And yes, it’s soooo hard to get right. It took me months to understand about internal conflict and it wasn’t until they’d pointed it out in my chapter that I got it.
    I tried putting it in when I was asked to do revisions and they liked it, but sadly it wasn’t just the conflict that was at issue.

  5. Can’t wait to read more about your chap and what you’ve learnt! Interesting that you mentioned ‘archetypes’ – I ALWAYS use them in my planning stages now.

    Have just chosen archetypes for new story – hero is The Charmer and heroine is The Spunky Kid!

  6. I’ll probably wait until they post the editorial comment before I put up anything from my feedback letter, Rach. Just in case I repeat stuff. And the archetypes they mentioned were more to do with social archetypes – the hippy vs the property developer rather than character archetypes. Does that make sense?

  7. Hi Jackie,

    I really enjoyed reading your chapter, honest to God. But yeah, I can see how the conflict just wouldn’t work in a Mod Heat. Perhaps you’ll ‘discover’ something new about these guys and have the opportunity to use it a later stage.

    I think Modern Heat can, at times, be hard to grasp. I know that people have been told to ‘alpha’ up the hero yet the guidelines state clearly that the MH hero is really an ‘alpha in training’. How much alpha is enough then? And the conflict, while not so tragic or intense as a Presents still has to justify a lot of action/reaction and carry for the whole story. So, how much conflict? And if the hero is the key driver of the romance in a MH, is the story more his than hers???

    Jeez, I’m great at doing my own head in at times. Anyway, enough on that. I look forward to reading the editorial commentary on your chapter and hope I can learn something from it.
    Well done,


  8. “I tried putting it in when I was asked to do revisions and they liked it, but sadly it wasn’t just the conflict that was at issue.”

    I’m really surprised that this chapter didn’t work for MH (after you added internal conflict) I’d love to know more about why it couldn’t have been tweaked to fit. So as soon as the eds comments go up I’ll be back to your blog to read more thoughts on it.

    I thought it was a great first chapter and was really surprised that it turned out to be unsuitable

  9. I loved your 1st chapter – read it over on iheartpresents, and thought it had everything. An incredibly sexy hero, a determined heroine, motivation, conflict, writing sexy enough to send goosebumps down my spine, etc. etc.. Did I say loved it?

    However I am not sure I understand the MH editorial comments regarding the conflict being based on what they did rather than who they were.

    Surely the who they are bit is what has has driven their actions, and won’t this form the basis of the internal conflict between the two of them which will follow?

    Sorry, but my eurka moment has obviously not yet arrived… arrrrgh

  10. Hmm, the conflict thing is a tricky one. Would be most interested to see what the eds (and you, Jackie!) have to say about it ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. Jackie – this is nothing to do with your lovely chapter, but I had to let you know…

    Someone from Milton Keynes arrived on my blog earlier today by searching google for you.

    You’re famous.


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