So, been examining the ed’s email in great depth and having a think about my story. There were a number of points that she pointed out were wrong and here are the main ones:
1. My conflict was too obvious, too early. I really needed to give hints of it, not reveal it so starkly.
2. My characters were…drum roll please…too self aware! Which is always a besetting sin of mine. I did a post about characters being too self aware actually and was quite relieved to note that I’d done it in February – at least a month after sending this partial, so I have progressed!
3. My characters thought too much about the past. They fell into old patterns and the romance didn’t feel like something new and exciting.
4. The setup didn’t work.
However, they did say there were some lovely moments and that my character consistency was better.
So there you have it. More bad than good really but at least they gave me some suggestions about how to fix it. I admit to feeling quite daunted about this – at least every time I read that email I do! But in the past couple of days I’ve been discussing suggestions for fixes with various people and now I think I have a plan of attack. Going to post more about it as I go because I got some other feedback about lack of goals that has been hugely helpful too.
Anyway, bottom line is I’m going to nail this, by jingo!!