So what’s it like having your book read by complete strangers? Actually it’s weird. And unbelievably cool. And scary. I didn’t write this book intending to get it published. As readers of this blog know and as I have wittered on about at length, this book was a total indulgence for me. An attempt to try and break out of the category romance hole I’d got myself stuck in.

I’d originally intended it to be a 15k novella that would end after their first love scene. But as it turned out, both of them had more issues than 15k could cope with. So I kept going with it to see where it would lead and bugger the word count. As it turned out, it lead to another 20k of them working their crap out before they finally let go their fears! Thanks for turning my meticulously planned15k novella into a 45k category length book, guys. Really appreciate  it. Not.

Anyway, I fully didn’t intend to send out this oddity of a book until the CP started getting on my back about it so I sent it off just to keep her quiet. And now, nearly a year after I sent it out, it’s being read by people and it feels weird! And I’m scared about a whole lot of things like, have I dealt with Anna’s sexual assault issues sensitively enough? Is Finn too pushy? Will people who live in parts foreign like the Auckland setting? Will people mind that there are few secondary characters? Will they like the drama and the angst that I ladled on with a spoon because I love writing that kind stuff??

You kind of want to explain yourself to people. Explain your thought processes about the book, why and how you wrote it (as you can see by this long and probably tedious blog post). But the thing is, the book isn’t mine anymore. Yeah, I wrote it, but once it’s out there it becomes a reader’s book. It becomes part of a reader’s personal experience, coloured by their own thoughts and opinions, irrespective of what I meant when I wrote it. And that’s the way it should be. And why it’s so scary for a control freak like me. Like sending your kid off into the world and watching them become a person in their own right – you don’t have a say anymore.

And I think I’ll stop there because really, what I should be doing is not angsting about this book but getting into the next one. That’s always been my angst solution – keep writing.

Thanks for letting me witter. Am hoping for Chessman cover art soon so I’ll post that as soon as I’m allowed.

I leave you with a pic of my release day Whoopie pies. The white one is called a ‘romantic’. Naturally I had to buy it. And yes, it was delicious….