Treadmill Blues

I wish this was a post about running on an actual treadmill and burning actual calories and getting awesomely fit. But it’s not. It’s about running on an analogous treadmill, where no calories are burned and nothing actually happens, you just keep running and running and not going anywhere.

Yep, you guessed it, this is a moan post. To be fair I haven’t done one for a while so, y’know, I’m feeling entitled.

Possibly this could also be post-sub blues, or beginning blues, or the waiting blues. Or the NTAI blues. Or the dammit-I-will-never-be-a-rockstar blues. Or the kind of blues you have when you know that the chance of chocolate occuring in the next couple of hours is zero to nil.

But no. It’s the kind of blues you have where you’ve subbed everything everywhere. You’re keeping ahead of the rejections by soldiering on with the next story. You’ve done everything you possibly can to keep the momentum going. But you’re still stuck in the same place as you were two months ago. Three months ago. Six months ago. A year ago.

Still nowhere in other words.

I’m sure it’ll pass. At least, sometime something will happen and then I’ll either be going up or down. I hope it’s up, though realistically, given my track record, it’s more likely to be down. But until something does, I’m stuck on the treadmill, running and running and going nowhere.

I guess at least my Pinterest boards give me something pretty look at while I’m here.

Anyone else got the treadmill blues? Or is it more the realisation that you’ll never be a rockstar blues? 🙂

8 thoughts on “Treadmill Blues”

  1. Feel your pain Jackie!
    I’m having the ‘not quite good enough’ blues. Seems to be the theme for this year. Was offered a contract on a ms, but another two editors requested heavy revisions of it, so I doubted said contract and ultimately rejected it.
    Thereafter, doubted my story and my writing then got a R&R for another story. I know some folks would be thrilled with that, but its utterly deflated me. Back to ‘not good enough’ terretory. So yeah, I’m on the treadmill of how the f do I make me better lol

  2. Aimee – oh wow, you’ve been offered a contract? But that must have been a hard decision to make to refuse it. R&R, yes, I can understand you feeling deflated about that. It always seems like you’re constantly revising and NOTHING is every going to be right. I totally know where you’re coming from there. Nothing I do ever seems to be right either and it’s depressing.
    I guess the only thing you can do is find that steel inside you, believe that you ARE good enough and somehow one day someone will recognise it. You’re on the right track though. An R&R means you’re definitely good enough.

  3. Oh Jackie- I LOVE your posts ALMOST as much as I love you!!! Even when you’re down, you’re funny 🙂 In the nicest possible way. I’m so so so cheering for you and hoping that someday soon some smart editor will pick you up. SOON!!!
    x
    Rach!

  4. Howdie lovely! I was just wondering why I hadn’t seen any updates on your blog for a while in my side bar thingy, and have found to my horror that i’d somehow deleted you from my blog list! No idea how, but on the up side, am glad it is something easily rectified, and not that you have stopped posting. :O)
    Anyway – I hear you on the treadmill. You’d think we’d have the body of Elle Mcbloodyphearson by now, wouldn’t you? It is wholly unfair that I still have a backside the size of Australia.
    Thing is though, Jack – this particular treadmill thing is addictive, and I don’t think you can jump off very easily. xx

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