Why Do We Do This Again??

I should imagine that I’m not the only aspiring romance author who is feeling sick at this moment in time. Hands up all those who entered the Modern/Modern Heat writing contest! It’s a horrible feeling eh? Knowing a decision is being made, one that is all about your hopes and dreams, and knowing that you will have absolutely no control over it. Gah, it’s enough to make anyone reach for the bucket.

So why am I sick? Well, I didn’t enter the contest but I have heard that the lovely editor who is (un)fortunate enough to read my stuff is getting to my synopsis this week. So every morning I open my email program with huge amounts of trepidation. What I’m hoping for is a ‘yes, this might work if you change this, this and this’. What I’m terrified of recieving is ‘never on God’s green earth would we want to publish this tripe’. Because no matter how good we think our story is, the fact is that we don’t know until the editor says yes. I think my story is good, at least I really enjoyed writing it and it was certainly better than the last one. But who knows? There may be some kind of fatal flaw in it that I haven’t spotted.

Anyway, the annoying thing is that usually the best way to cope with these sick feelings is to write something but I can’t concentrate on writing anything at the moment. Grump. Grump. Perhaps taking Great Uncle Visa out for a little tootle round the shops is in order. Sadly he hasn’t recovered from the last pair of NTAI shoes I bought so maybe I’ll have to go easy on him.

So, what do other people do to when they don’t want to think about what’s going down over in Richmond?

18 thoughts on “Why Do We Do This Again??”

  1. What do you mean not thinking about it? I can’t stop! So instead I’m trying to make it positive by fantasising about exactly how The Call will go.

    The image is so clear in my head: the phone will ring and the caller ID will show an international number. I’ll be cool and collected. I’ll speak coherently and clearly. And when I hang up, champagne corks will pop …
    [Sigh] Do I have to wake up now?

  2. Cool and collected, Romy? Are you kidding? We’ll be hearing the shrieks from South Africa in Auckland! πŸ™‚ And no, you don’t have to wake up, because it won’t be a dream… πŸ˜‰

  3. Hand up and head bobbing in agreement – there’s a not quite right feeling in the stomach.

    I entered the comp and my inner dialogue on the subject is mutating as I write. I know the chances of winning/placing are grim, but…but…and but… So, I’ve kept busy by writing the rest of the story (what the heck, it’s all practice).

    I’ve also perfected my growl. It peaked this a.m. Nothing of note in my inbox and no grand announcement in ihearts. Back to moaning I think and perhaps mentally preparing myself to start from scratch… again. Faith in one’s work only goes so far and as you said, the final decision is out of our hands.

    As for shopping. No more for this gal. She’s been extravagant (notice how I’m distancing myself from… myself – less blame that way). How many books/audiobooks can one read/listen to in one lifetime?

  4. I can’t concentrate on anything and am compulsively checking ihearts page. I’m in complete withdrawal state as my sister and her husband left yesterday and all my shopping has been done on black friday and now it seem slike there’s nothing to distract or do except wait.

    Hope you get good news on your synopsis and soon.

  5. Veronica, completing the ms is great practice. Nothing is wasted. And don’t forget, the last comp I was sure I hadn’t got anywhere and on the day of the announcement, there was the email sitting in my inbox. Don’t despair! And don’t forget, there’s always a chance of a request.

    Sri – I totally know where you’re coming from. In fact, I’m there. Though in my case, I don’t actually want to see my email. πŸ™‚

  6. Hi Jackie! I’m a long time reader, first time poster πŸ™‚

    I’ve had a requested full at Richmond for three months now. After months of frantic email checking and leaping in the air at any phone call during London business hours (I know that is very wishful thinking!), I sent an email last night to the editor reading my ms asking for a status update.

    Now I have two things to stress over – my ms, and whether asking for an update was a Very Bad Thing. Argh!

    So yeah… not thinking about it? Impossible! πŸ™‚

  7. Hi Lea! Thanks for posting. Great going for your requested full! Don’t worry about the status update – they’re really nice about things like that. But because of the comp, things are running slow over there so it might take them a while to get to it. Then again, it depends on the editor. Ah well, join us in the nail biting eh?

  8. Lea,

    Elaine, the lady who checks on MS statuses and the like, is completely lovely and she won’t mind at all. Don’t be put off if it takes a while though. One of my crit group pals didn’t hear back on her requested full for…uh…you don’t really want to know…eight months.

    As for not thinking about a sub? I jump sky high whenever the phone rings during Richmond business hours, so when I get wrong numbers at 2am I am a very grumpy person…

    My fantasy is a lot like Romy’s, only the reality is I will either not be able to speak, or I won’t be able to stop talking. Either way I will make no sense.

    I try not to think about opening my inbox and finding a big fat R. But it IS something I think about, and I try to imagine that I won’t slump over the computer and bawl onto the keyboard until I damage the thing. But I probably would.

  9. Becca – it SO is! Good luck with your rewrites. Man, have I been there…

    Maisey – have sobbed over the keyboard. Not fun. Plus it wrecks the keys. Fantasy is more preferable! And hey, what’s all this about finding an R? Not!

  10. I can’t do anything but think about it!
    Everytime the phone rings passed dinner time my heart stops then speeds up – like i’m actually going to get a phone call! – and it’s only just turned December first today!
    Oh, the checking the i heart blog daily, definately not good.
    Really not good with patience at all….sigh.
    Really should write the rest of the story huh.

  11. Well I’m excited for you Jackie! And for everyone in the comp! I’m not expecting my response for a while so I’ll be anxious for the rest of you ;). Can’t wait to hear how fabulous she thinks your synopsis is!

  12. I have to admit I’m at the “God knows” stage in response to your question. Am joining you in feeling sick πŸ™

    Hope you hear soon XXX

  13. It’s truly horrible, it’s like that nervous feeling you get when you think you might have done something wrong. But you’re not quite sure what it is! Well, that’s how I feel anyway.

    I really love my story, loved writing it and am still enjoying the characters. I will be absolutely heartbroken if I get a form R.

    Lovely Lorraine has pointed out to me that over on ihearts they are saying no announcement now until 11th December, so I won’t jump every time my phone pings … for the next week or so.

    Best of luck with your synop. 3rd time’s the charm πŸ™‚

  14. Hi Jackie! First off I hope you hear soon. The waiting and the not knowing is sheer torture. Would we wish this on our worst enemy? Probably :). It’s only others in our situtation who can really understand what it takes to do what we do – spend so much of our precious time crafting something, pinning our hopes and our dreams on one instant in time when an editor (finally) looks at what we’ve sent in, and (depending on ANY NUMBER OF FACTORS) could just say ‘Nah, this isn’t right for us at the moment’. I’m not sure why we do it. For me, I know this is what I’m meant to do. It feels right and I’m just that stubborn!

  15. Kerrin – So been there!

    Lacey – well, not optimistic and no word this morning. Back to the waiting.

    Lorraine – at least you have a holiday to look forward to.

    Joanne – it’s prolonging the agony eh?

    Kaily – I’m trying to be stubborn. Yesterday was feeling like giving up. And then this morning had an idea for a brand new story while I was reading the paper! I might want to give up but my muse won’t let me…sigh…

  16. I’ve been feeling sick for weeks.

    Sending oodles of positive vibes your way and keeping everything crossed for the good news you deserve – soon.


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