As to believable, I think they’re very believable if done right. And by right, I mean they come across as a person and not a two dimensional ‘alpha male’. And I think some alphas do think you’re either with me or against me, But more often they’ll be ‘ you can be either with me or against me, but fundamentally I don’t care. I’m going to go ahead and do what I want anyway’. 🙂

I think a lot of my insight has come from both paying attention to how other authors do it and from listening to the rhythyms of how men speak and what words they use. It certainly helps anyway.
As for characters being too nice – get out the torture devices. Hehe. 🙂

Thanks for this, Jackie! My characters are definitely too nice too each other. I also think men in general are just harder for me to write, but I have two little boys so maybe that will come easier with time 🙂
I’m working on it, but it’s still a bit of a slog. Thanks for the specific example of a conversation. That really helps.

THanks Kali! And yeah, I’m with you. In fact, the badder the bad boy, the more I love it because then he’s REALLY brought low by the heroine. In fact, she helps him find the good guy that’s really in there and I particularly love that dynamic.

I think it really boils down to the character and whether the writer manages to get it across, Jill. And I think you’re absolutely right. Sometimes we focus too much on the ‘alpha’ ‘beta’ traits and forget there’s a person behind those. So just write what you want to write.

But if there’s not enough push/pull it’s probably because your characters are being too nice to each other. Does the hero let the heroine off too easily? Or does the heroine not call the hero on his bullshit enough? I find if the hero is being too understanding, you have to ask yourself whether he’d REALLY be that way or is it YOU wanting him to be nice. If the heroine walks off in a huff, does he follow and demand to be told what’s wrong? Or does he let her go knowing she has her own stuff to deal with? An alpha would follow and demand answers. And I think a beta let’s the heroine work it out for herself (I imagine). I mean, I don’t know but usually if there isn’t enough push/pull it’s because the characters aren’t confronting each other enough.

Thanks for answering my question! It’s definitely something I mull over and think over a lot. As a reader, sometimes alphas work for me and sometimes they don’t. It’s like you said, a lot of it depends on understanding their motivation and not coming off as a cliche. There are certain writers I trust to “get it right.” 🙂 Other times I like a nice beta hero.
So as a writer, I feel like I’m kind of on the fence. Maybe I just have focus on creating my characters and not worrying too much, but I’ve definitely gotten editorial feedback that there wasn’t enough push pull of emotional conflict in my story and my hero “wasn’t alpha enough” so it’s something I think about. Having an alpha male does kind of bring in automatic conflict!