This book wasn’t meant to be published. I mean, I didn’t write it with the intention of publication. I wrote it because I wanted to write it. It was everything I’d been holding myself back from writing. You’ve heard me go on about it ad nauseum, you guys who’ve read this blog know about why I wrote it. For the lurkers or any random passers-by, I’ll just say I wrote it for me. I didn’t intend for it to go anywhere, I just thought I’d write it and it would stay on my hard drive, unread, forever.

My characters are difficult buggers and the relationship they have with each other is difficult. They make difficult choices. They are what they are. And I never expected a publisher to want to buy it.

But a certain person told me to send out the book anyway and though I whined and complained and told them it wasn’t meant for publication, I did send it out. Because I think I’m secretly rather proud of it. Like I said, my characters are difficult and so is the story. It won’t be for everyone. But I didn’t write it for everyone, I wrote it for me. And that’s why I’m kind of scared. When you write it for yourself, it’s hard to accept that not everyone in the entire universe will like it.

Which I guess brings me to the next hurdle in the journey of publication. I’ve spent five years fighting for the opportunity to get my work published and while you’re in pre-publication hell, all your energy is directed on your next revision letter or your next rejection, or sending the next story out there. The thought that when you eventually get accepted EVERYONE will have a chance to read your book is only a passing one. Then you finally DO get accepted and then there’s that lovely time when your book isn’t out yet and you can pretend you’re the greatest writer in the world, basking in the love of your editor, not a care in the world. Until release day comes and you realise people will soon be able to see behind the mask. Will they see the wizard or just a little old man?

Kind of sobering to know all the blood, sweat and tears you put into getting published is just for the privilege of having some complete stranger say, “Nah, that book was bollocks’.

On the up side, I now have an awesome picture that I will make into a mug! A whole series of mugs! That I could give away!  You have been warned…

1. Have no internal conflict.
That doesn’t mean car chases and villains. Internal conflict is what keeps your h&h from their HEA if they met in bar one night. And it can’t be just because he’s a Montague and she’s a Capulet – that’s external conflict people. If you have to introduce a scheming mother-in-law to keep them apart then your conflict isn’t strong enough.

2. Have your hero be the shy, easy-going type.
Sorry guys, he may be sweet but that ain’t alpha. And alpha is what goes in Presents/Modern.

3. Have as many sub-characters as possible.
You love the heroine’s best friend, her wise-cracking husband and their three adorable children. But devoting a whole chapter to them isn’t a good idea.

4. Include vampires and werewolves.
I know, you really liked Twilight, but paranormal isn’t where Modern/Modern Heat is at, even if you think it should be. Remember the guidelines.

5. Force your characters to act the way you want them to for the purposes of the plot.
I’ve been there and it ain’t pretty. You may want your hero to eat some bad cheese so that he gets sick and the heroine has to look after him, but you do have to ask yourself: does he even like cheese? And if not, why not? These are character driven which means you let the characters act they way they want. So go on, let them have their head!

6. Have things happen to your characters rather than have your characters make decisions and act on them.
A fire might make your hero rescue the heroine after their black moment but what would have happened if there hadn’t been a fire? Would he have made up with her anyway? What decision would he have made if you hadn’t cruelly sent him into the fire? Again, character driven.

7. Have your hero enter the story in chapter 2.
If that’s the case, then shouldn’t that be chapter 1? Don’t make us wait! He’s the reason we’re reading it – at least he’s the reason I’m reading it.

8. Make your characters act in seemingly random ways.
Such as your heroine suddenly kissing the hero whereas up till now, she hates his guts. Where is her motivation? Why would she do that?

9. Have either or both of your h&h be drug addicted alcoholics.
This may provide heaps of conflict but not much in the way of sympathy. Your h&h must be sympathetic and though drug addiction and alcoholism are real issues, they’re probably a little too real for category romance.

10. And most important, you definitely won’t win if you don’t enter.

Good luck!