Ask Dr Jax


This is a very late post. I plead a wedding, a 40th birthday party and a cold all in the space of nearly two weeks. Oh and not forgetting school holidays. Yay. Not.

Anyway, time for the good doctor.

Question: How correct is it to say that one painful event can shape a person’s life?

Answer: Like I said in a previous post, it’s not really events that shape people so much as the relationships people have with one another. It’s true that people do attach importance to certain events but most of the time, it’s not really the event in particular that’s the problem, though the event can certainly be a catalyst. Generally speaking, if, for example, a man is cheated on by his wife, that won’t put him off all women forever even though it is certainly a painful event. But if, say, he had a difficult relationship with his mother – perhaps she cheated on his father – then that could influence how he views women in general. In isolation, events are just events. It’s when you look at them in conjunction with the relationships people have in their lives that they take on meaning.

Thank you the good doctor!

And I shall leave you with the golden rule that Dr Jax keeps telling me about having characters that are too self aware.

If you think they’re too self aware, then they probably are. 🙂

7 thoughts on “Ask Dr Jax”

  1. Boy, do I feel your pain re school holidays. This summer has REALLY knocked me off my schedule. And right now I have five guests staying in my home!

    Jackie, your husband is a genius! Loved this answer. It makes so much sense, and I’ve never thought of events quite in this way before.
    Be sure to thank him for me.

    And congrats on finaling in the RWNZ contest!! Woohoo! Fingers crossed for you for your pitch – I’m sure you’ll do great!

  2. Bows to Dr. Jax’s analysis! And LOL on the too self aware!

    In a similar line, does that mean if I’m convinced my book is no good..it is indeed no good? 😉 Just askin…

  3. Aimee – better you than me! I will thank him. He’ll be chuffed! Thanks re the pitch. Feel all uncertain about it now. Sigh.

    Ju – he’s good eh? And no, that does NOT follow. Lol!

  4. Thanks Dr Jax. Wise words as always. I was wondering whether Dr Jax could recommend a book (or books) that deals with a persons psyche in childhood (or whatever) that then impacts on how we behave as adults. Just a thought…ignore if I’m being too simplistic! Caroline x

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