Stuck in the mire of self doubt at the moment. Working on polishing up my next sub but am doubting basically everything about it. At least the thing I’m pretty sure I’ve got right is the emotional connection between my characters – at least, I think I have. Famous last words huh? And if that’s not bad enough, I now have to write the suckopsis and that is filling me with gloom. The ed takes my synopses very seriously so it has to be right. Another reason to stress.
I think my process is not helping me sadly. I am a pantser. Yes, I do have a vague idea about plot and characters but often the characters don’t settle for me until I’m halfway through the ms. Sometimes I’ll write a quick and dirty draft, realise it’s utter pants while I’m editing it and then figure out a better way for the plot to go. Sometimes this takes me through several drafts before I get it right. The problem with this of course is that if I am editing a ms I’ve already subbed the partial of, I can’t go back and change those first three chapters, which is often the part of the ms that changes the most. This happened with the last sub. In the process of editing the story, I realised what was missing from those first three chapters and hoped I’d be asked for the rest so I could go back and change it to match the rest of the story. Sadly not.
Clearly, with a process like mine, I need to finish and edit the ms completely before I send a partial. Which makes it difficult because if you’re asked to revise, revisions are much more easily incorporated into a draft than a finished, polished ms. Plus there’s the whole worry about expending a lot of effort on an idea that won’t work at all for the editor.
Of course, the ideal for me – since I find that I can’t treat a partial in isolation from the rest of the ms – would be just to sub the full straight off. Cue hollow laughter. Yeah like that will happen. 🙂
Anyway, how about the NV competition? So many great entries! Going to press ahead with IT Girl at least. It would be fabulous if she got through to the next round but if not, I’ll sub her anyway. But first I have to write the whole thing so I can get to know her better. 🙂