Yes, I am impatient. I always have and always will be. Not to mention sensitive to criticism and very up and down emotion-wise (I’m a Gemini so that figures). So really, all things considered, I am very ill suited to writing as a career choice. At the moment I am surfing aimlessly around the net, reading writers blogs and generally living on the eHarlequin boards, all trying to immerse myself in writing. Note that I am not actually writing.
Actually, that’s a big fat lie. I did write something yesterday so I am gradually getting back into the zone. But I’m still finding it difficult to concentrate because I am waiting. Waiting for my revisions!
Which brings me back to my impatience. Anna at M&B (who must be cursing the day I entered that contest because not only did she have my chapter to give feedback on, but also the partial that was waiting in the slush pile that I’d submitted before the contest!) told me that she would be in touch ‘soon’. Argh! Makes me feel like a kid again, when your parents told you that you could have something to eat ‘soon’. Or you could watch TV ‘soon’. How soon is soon?
Anyway, this gradual inching closer is playing merry hell with my poor nerves. Like the stages of grief, there seems to be the stages of subbing: Excitement (when you hear they like it), horror (when you get the first lot of revisions), despair (when you can’t do them), denial (when you know your writing is crap), nausea (when, sick of the sight of it, you finally send the ms back to the editors), relief (when it’s gone – lasts maybe an hour), doubt (yes, you’re now certain your writing is crap), impatience (when you haven’t heard for two days – this gradually becomes more intense as the wait lengthens), and back to excitement (if the news, when it comes, is good) and/or horror/despair (if the news is bad). And then, the whole thing loops around again.
Fun eh? I think I was never so happy with writing as when I was writing for my own pleasure. Ah well, I’m still glad I started this whole thing. A year ago I was just sending off my entry to the Instant Seduction Contest – the very first time I ever subbed anything…