Concerning Impatience

Yes, I am impatient. I always have and always will be. Not to mention sensitive to criticism and very up and down emotion-wise (I’m a Gemini so that figures). So really, all things considered, I am very ill suited to writing as a career choice. At the moment I am surfing aimlessly around the net, reading writers blogs and generally living on the eHarlequin boards, all trying to immerse myself in writing. Note that I am not actually writing.

Actually, that’s a big fat lie. I did write something yesterday so I am gradually getting back into the zone. But I’m still finding it difficult to concentrate because I am waiting. Waiting for my revisions!
Which brings me back to my impatience. Anna at M&B (who must be cursing the day I entered that contest because not only did she have my chapter to give feedback on, but also the partial that was waiting in the slush pile that I’d submitted before the contest!) told me that she would be in touch ‘soon’. Argh! Makes me feel like a kid again, when your parents told you that you could have something to eat ‘soon’. Or you could watch TV ‘soon’. How soon is soon?

Anyway, this gradual inching closer is playing merry hell with my poor nerves. Like the stages of grief, there seems to be the stages of subbing: Excitement (when you hear they like it), horror (when you get the first lot of revisions), despair (when you can’t do them), denial (when you know your writing is crap), nausea (when, sick of the sight of it, you finally send the ms back to the editors), relief (when it’s gone – lasts maybe an hour), doubt (yes, you’re now certain your writing is crap), impatience (when you haven’t heard for two days – this gradually becomes more intense as the wait lengthens), and back to excitement (if the news, when it comes, is good) and/or horror/despair (if the news is bad). And then, the whole thing loops around again.

Fun eh? I think I was never so happy with writing as when I was writing for my own pleasure. Ah well, I’m still glad I started this whole thing. A year ago I was just sending off my entry to the Instant Seduction Contest – the very first time I ever subbed anything…

7 thoughts on “Concerning Impatience”

  1. Waiting must be hell. I don’t think anyone can say much that will make it easier.

    But there is one doubt you can take out of the equation: YOUR WRITING IS NOT CRAP (sorry for shouting).

    Your blog is funny and entertaining and insightful. There’s no reason to suppose that your ms is any different. It’s not a question of if, but when your book is published.

    Listen to your Aunty Sue – I wouldn’t waste my time reading crap.

    You’ve come an incredibly long way in a very short space of time. I can’t believe that you only subbed something for the first time last year. If I told you how long ago I first sent anything M&B you’d cry. Oh, okay, I’ll tell you – I was 16 and now I’m very old, so you do the maths.

    Have faith. YOU WILL BE PUBLISHED. (shouting again – sorry)

    And, while you’re waiting do something nice. Go shopping. Read a book. Spoil yourself.

    🙂

  2. Aunty Sue, you really made my day with your lovely comment. Thanks so much.

    Sorry if my post sounded whingy, don’t want to be a moaner. 🙂 Just goes to show that no matter where you are in this process, you never get rid of the doubts. Even after you’re published you wonder if people will buy your next or what the reviews will say. It never stops.

    Anyway, I know, it has happened quite quickly for me but although I only subbed last year, I have been writing romances for 25 years. I just never sent them to a publisher – probably a good thing. The last one I wrote had a word count of over 300k!

    Yes, you’re right, doing something nice is a good idea. I’ve got the latest Natalie Anderson so I might just read that instead. 🙂

    And just to add that I’m sure your time will come. All those years spent honing your craft will pay off, I’m sure of it.

  3. Jackie – you’ve described the stages of subbing PERFECTLY! Can I copy it and print it for my wall!

    I’m trying to forget about my sub with Lucy… but it’s REALLY hard!

    Bet you’ll hear on your revisions before I hear on my full 🙂

  4. Of course, Rach! Print away.

    I know, waiting is just the pits huh? With any luck it won’t take long for their decision and they’ll be phoning you for a sale.
    And re the bet, you’re on. 😉

    BTW, Anna told me that the ‘runners-up’ chapters (that being you and me now) will be posted possibly next week. So prepare yourself. 🙂

  5. Perhaps the M&B submissions’ guidleline page should bear a warning – ‘aiming for publication can seriously damage your emotional health’!

  6. Ugh, the waiting is agony, isn’t it? Your ‘soon’ is like my ‘a couple of weeks’. I mean, how long is a couple of weeks? 14 days exactly? 21? 40?! This writing biz is a rollercoaster ride…

  7. There’s nothing that drives me madder than waiting. Patience has never been one of my stronger points. Just look at my wild decision to marry someone I had known only 7 weeks!!

    Seriously Jackie, I think you are doing really well holding it altogether. I would be a raging alcoholic by now and weigh about 20 stone due to all the chocolate sympathy I had given myself.

    You can do it!!

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